Lindsey Kuper (lindseykuper) wrote,
Lindsey Kuper

"I was a lot faster, when I was your age."

Alex oniugnip and I ran in a local road race this morning! He's prepared a short dramatic reading for you:

A cool morning in early fall. The FINISH LINE, near a FOOTBALL STADIUM. Lots of RUNNERS.

A young couple, LINDSEY and ALEX, run past the finish line, cheerfully ending a fairly leisurely 5K. Nearby is THE DEAN, DR. BOBBY SCHNABEL, a thin, fit looking man in his late fifties. He's wearing running gear and a fashionable bicycle-style cap. He clearly finished several minutes ago, and is now eating a post-race banana.

LINDSEY: Hello! How was your race?
SCHNABEL: It was pretty good! I went faster than I expected.
ALEX: Great! How fast was that?
SCHNABEL: Oh, you know. About 23 minutes. I was a lot faster, when I was your age.
LINDSEY and ALEX (unison): Burn sauce!

I don't remember the part where we allegedly said "Burnsauce!" in unison, but I can certainly verify that Dean Schnabel was a lot faster than I was.

In today's race, there were 1333 finishers overall and 89 finishers in the "Female 25 to 29" age group; my overall finish place was 480, and my age group finish place was 24. My time was 28:11.0 -- just over 9-minute miles, which is not very good for a 5K. See, this is the dirty little secret of why I run marathons: if you run a slow marathon, folks are still impressed that you did it at all.


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