Dan, Will, and Lindsey: *consider the abysmal win/loss record of the 2008-2009 IU men's basketball team*
Lindsey: We're supposed to be better next year, right?
Dan: Our recruiting team is ranked fifth in the nation.
Will: What, like SAT scores?
Dan: Yes, Will. SAT scores.
Will: You know what would make basketball more interesting? If they added a second ball to the game.
Lindsey: That could work!
Will: Yeah. You know what would make baseball more interesting?
Lindsey: What's that?
Dan: *pointedly ignores conversation*
Will: If the batter were allowed to carry the bat around the bases. And all of the basemen had bats, too. Big ones.
Lindsey: ...oh, no.
Will: Preferably with spikes on them. You know what would make football more interesting?
Lindsey: *raises an eyebrow*
Will: Every so often, just release a pack of wolves.
Lindsey: *laughs and cringes simultaneously*
Will: And the players should have, like, pieces of raw meat sewn into their jerseys.
Remind me to add "popular televised American sports" to the list of Topics Not to Be Discussed with Will Byrd. Along with "food", "music", and "PLT Scheme".