still working on this one.
here on lj: interest list: empty.
my time, at least, is full.
Man. At age 16, if you'd asked me to make an interest list, I think I would've started crying.
I feel the same way but on the opposite end of the scale. I don't want to make a permanent and forever statement against something before I've given it due diligence. I can throw out "awesome" or "I love that" on something I've seen, worn, or heard once. But I like to think I'm more hesitant against berating something completely before a full exploration.
I really like that attitude! These days, I try to not make assumptions about anything at all. The world has surprised me too many times.
I try my best not to make assumptions. The world has also offered surprises more than the control freak in me would like to admit. But sometimes you just have that gut instinct that you will or will not like something, and it's just a matter of going with those feelings and not letting the world pressure you into painting it into a box of "good" or "bad." Like you responded to the comment beneath mine, feelings just are.
2009-02-04 10:25 pm (UTC)
I've had to embrace the fact that not all of the things I like are necessarily actually any good, and that I may not like them for rational, or even "good" reasons. It's been weird so far, but oddly liberating.
Yeah. A long time ago, when I was going through a messy breakup, a friend pointed out that it was counterproductive to make judgments about one's own feelings. He said that one's feelings -- liking things, not liking things, or whatever -- just kind of are, and that if one feels a certain way, one should just embrace the fact that one feels that way, not worry about whether the feeling is good or bad, because it's really neither. That sounds kind of like what you're talking about.
2009-02-05 06:21 am (UTC)
coat of arms?
On me it's more likely to be a Tattooing of Arms.
2009-02-05 07:30 am (UTC)
Re: coat of arms?
like this?Edited at 2009-02-05 07:30 am (UTC)
Probably not exactly like that.
2009-02-05 09:12 am (UTC)
why I let you do all the talking
I can see that, although I never had the particular worry about permanence. It's more about fear of liking the wrong thing. That was enough that the admission makes me vulnerable. And there's some other worry in there about how liking or caring about something opens the door to some sort of obligation.
2009-02-05 09:12 pm (UTC)
Re: why I let you do all the talking
Yeah, this. I've been trying to learn that if I just like stuff passionately, the judgment won't bother me. But I am still embarrassed when I know that what I like isn't cool/interesting/whatever. Or when I just don't know shit. My coworker, who used to be an indie music freak, was babbling about someone who was in town recently. I deduced that it was a musician, but not well enough to avoid the look of surprise when she realized I didn't know what she was talking about. Music is especially fraught with worry.
In ten years or so, I might even be able to do that "coat of arms" assignment, although it might not take the form my teachers had envisioned.
So, it won't be made with macaroni? Or it will be made with macaroni? Not sure what you mean.
Well, I wasn't planning on it, but now that you've suggested it, I see that there is no way that I can not make it out of macaroni.
An interest list or a coat of arms is hard to make out of a social context, so when you grow up less socialized and less steeped in pop culture than most, you are bad at making a coat of arms.