Lindsey Kuper (lindseykuper) wrote,
Lindsey Kuper

Holy cow! A dream with a plot!

So, I'm having lunch in a restaurant with my mom, and suddenly I realize that I'm not wearing pants. (Yeah, it's one of those dreams.) Also, one of my socks is missing, and one of my arm warmers is missing. All my clothes are in a pile on the floor. I pick up my stuff, tell my mom that I need to go get dressed, and scamper off to the restroom holding my clothes and purse. As I'm heading that direction, there's another woman walking ahead of me, and I'm nervous that she's going to get to the one-person restroom first and I'll have to stand around pantsless, but -- hooray! -- she actually goes into the men's room, so I head into the women's room. There's also an older Japanese man wearing a traditional robe walking behind me, but I figure he'll just have to wait, because the men's room is occupied.

I'm in the middle of getting dressed in the bathroom when I look up and realize that the Japanese man is standing there watching me. I kind of overreact: I yell, "What the fuck are you doing in here?!" and then, without waiting for an answer, spin around and roundhouse kick him in the side. He immediately crumples up into a tiny ball. I'm worried: maybe I hurt him badly! But "Are you okay?" doesn't really seem like the next thing that one says to someone after "What the fuck are you doing in here?!", so I just finish getting dressed.

But then, as soon as I'm done, he stands up, completely unfazed, and says, "Your form was good, but that little tap you gave me could have been a lot more forceful. Here, let me show you." He unfolds a huge three-panel mirror from out of nowhere, sets it up there in the bathroom, and demonstrates proper roundhouse kicking technique: "If you bring your head and shoulders lower down as you're spinning around, the centripetal force from the added weight will bring more momentum to your kick." It all makes sense, and I'm eager to try it out right there and then, but now I'm suddenly self-conscious, so I just say "Thank you", make sure I have everything, grab my purse and leave.

I walk back to the restaurant table, where my mom's waiting patiently. I must have been gone a long time. But as I'm getting back to the table, I realize that I'm still missing a sock and still missing an arm warmer. My mom raises an eyebrow at me. I say, "I don't know what happened!" She says, "You must have left them in the restroom." I say, "No, there's no chance of that. They've gotta be in my purse or something." But it's empty. I'm looking around dazedly, when the Japanese man approaches again. He hands me my sock, my arm warmer, and also a bunch of other stuff that he had apparently somehow ninja'd out of my purse, like my cell phone charger. I say "Thank you" again, and he melts away back over to his table. I look in the bottom of my purse, and there's a note from him: "You're very pretty" in English, followed by his name, in Japanese.

(with thanks to Indigo indy1725, who had to listen to me tell this whole thing as soon as I woke up this morning so I wouldn't forget it.)

Tags: dreams

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