There are times when I feel like I should definitely go to computer science graduate school, and there are times when I feel like I should stay away from it at all costs. What if I'm not good at theoretical computer science? There are times when I've felt like I'm really, really good at writing proofs, but what if I'm actually bad at it, and my skills actually lie in some other area, and I've been twisting them in knots to make them seem like CS skills?
Whether or not I end up going, I'll be doing something else for at least a year. I was looking at job postings online, and the things for which I'm most qualified (or for which I'll be most qualified by summer's end, I guess) are the ones that have to do with teaching technology, not doing technology. I find it hilarious that I'm apparently qualified to teach web design courses, but I'm not qualified to actually do web design. (I'm not good at the graphic design stuff, and merely okay at the database stuff and the programming stuff. The only stuff I'm good at is the separating-content-from-presentation, standards-compliant, cross-browser-compatible, markup-so-clean-you-could-eat-off-of-it stuff, which is the stuff other people tend to be bad at, which is probably why I'm able to get away with teaching.) According to one job posting, I'm apparently more qualified to be an "E-Learning Content Developer" than I am to be a programmer. And since I had high standardized test scores and have experience teaching kids, I have the two qualifications necessary for SAT and ACT tutoring (i.e., making it possible for more people to have high standardized test scores that are entirely useless unless they want to get jobs doing SAT and ACT tutoring). So it kind looks like, one way or another, I'm going to end up Teaching People Stuff. Fine, okay, I think I can do that. I just wish I knew it was what I'm supposed to be doing.