Lindsey Kuper (lindseykuper) wrote,
Lindsey Kuper

Pathetic Theme Park Stories

What with the proposed trip to Disneyland and all, my mom felt the need to bust out her favorite theme-park-ride gross-out story from my childhood on the extended-family email list.

Thanks Mom. I know you'll never, ever let me forget this. Ever.

We were at Adventureland near Altoona, IA. The ride was a thing that carried you up like a Ferris wheel, but the buckets that carried you were mounted perpendicularly from the direction the big wheel turned, so I could theoretically watch the kids' faces the whole time they were riding.

They rode the thing twice. The first time, Maya was grinning from ear to ear and hollering with joy, and Lindsey was smiling but a little pale, and clutching the safety bar pretty tight.

I was outside the gate, waiting for the two of them to come back to me after the ride finished. When it started up again and they hadn't reached me yet, I looked up and there they were again, in the bucket.

Maya was grinning and hollering again. Lindsey looked a little scared.

After another rotation or two, Lindsey seemed to disappear.

The ride finished and the girls rejoined me. Maya was flushed and exhilirated. Lindsey was somewhat unsteady.

"Where'd you go, Lindsey?" I think I asked. "I could see Maya in the bucket the second time around, but not you."

"Lindsey got dizzy," Maya announced. "She had to lie down."

It appeared Lindsey had spent most of the second ride curled up in a ball next to Maya, clutching the safety bar and Maya for dear life. She seemed okay, now, however, so we continued to enjoy the amusements and even had some ice cream and cotton candy. Lindsey was reluctant to do any more big rides, however.

That night we stayed in Ames, at Crestwood Circle. I think it was around four in the morning when Lindsey finally threw up. She was much better after that.

If you all go to Disneyland, I'd recommend riding in the big spinning teacups and checking out the historical robots--Lincoln and stuff. But I'd think twice about the Matterhorn ride unless you have Lindsey outnumbered at least two to one. She needs extra people to hold onto. And that night, make sure she gets the bed nearest the bathroom.

For the record, the ride was the Falling Star, and Mom makes it sound like it was a Ferris wheel. Uh, no. I've never been on a Ferris wheel that drops out from under you while your stomach is pulling five g's around a 360-degree rotation and your limbic system is being sucked out your ears. I think I should be commended for going on the ride twice. I wasn't going to let leadsynth go all by herself! Someone had to be the bigger person here, people!!!


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