I've been feeling really uncomfortable with my own habit of quoting other people's emails in my journal entries, even (maybe especially) if they're entries that I filter to a small group of people. It just isn't right. If someone writes me a personal message, he's trusting me implicitly to not turn around and tell other people what he said. I've tried paraphrasing as a workaround for my guilt, but that's such a cop-out; in fact, it's even worse -- I can't do it without sounding glib and superficial. Not to say that I'm not glib and superficial.
Now, I pretty much tell Maya leadsynth everything anyway, and anyone who's not okay with that might be better off never telling me anything, but still, I don't have to be so offhand about it -- sharing things that were told to me in confidence with any list of people that comes from a frickin' database query, for God's sake -- however carefully considered I imagine that list to be.
To hell with friends filters.
I don't develop crushes easily or quickly. They take a very long time to develop, in fact. So I feel a little odd about this weekend, because although I don't have a crush yet, it might be a proto-crush. It's too early to tell if it's a proto-crush, or if it's simply that I think you're awesome. You see, on Saturday night, I was sort of falling asleep and going "yeah, uh-huh" to things you said, but then I came awake and suddenly realized that your feet were in my lap and you were quoting my favorite Borges short story to me. And I kept having little flashes of "he's awesome", like "orthogonal" or your hipster PDA, or after the Vanderslice concert when being with you turned a boring trip home on the red and blue lines into a wild midnight jaunt across the city. We were practically skipping through the Washington tunnel. At least, that's what it felt like we were doing.