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Dream jobs - Lindsey Kuper [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Lindsey Kuper

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Dream jobs [May. 23rd, 2008|01:21 pm]
Lindsey Kuper

oniugnip: "Here is a huge pile of documents, each in five languages. We would like a huge pile of interesting statistics about the similarities and differences among these documents. Use Python. Also we have all this coffee we can't drink."1

lindseykuper: "Do the rest of the exercises in SICP. Write blunt, curmudgeonly articles about it. Also we have all this coffee we can't drink."

Note that neither of these job descriptions involve the words "web", "app", or "web app".

What's yours? It's okay if it changes tomorrow; what is it today?


  1. Disclaimer: This is merely my imagination; I don't actually speak for oniugnip or anyone but myself.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: qousqous
2008-05-23 09:38 pm (UTC)
"Here is an enormous 13 page invoice from Seattle from a vendor you have never dealt with with a bunch of products you don't know, that doesn't really match the PO in the system. Instead of spending two hours receiving it, you can just burn it, and then go to the beach to read magazines and drink juice. Also, it's sunny today, and songbirds continually stream out my ass."


Ok so that's not really my dream job. It's just the opposite of what I'm doing now, which is unusually aggravating.
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2008-05-23 10:52 pm (UTC)
I can't stop laughing.
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2008-05-26 07:26 am (UTC)
Also: dan_o_m asked me today if this means that, at your current job, songbirds are continually streaming in your ass.
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[User Picture]From: qousqous
2008-05-26 07:53 am (UTC)
Well, I actually meant the speaker there to be my boss, so I guess songbirds are continually streaming in my boss's ass. Which is something I don't really want to think about.
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[User Picture]From: oniugnip
2008-05-23 09:55 pm (UTC)
*laughs!* It'd be okay if it's not Python...
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2008-05-23 10:53 pm (UTC)
"Use whatever you like."
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[User Picture]From: poodleface
2008-05-23 10:00 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure. I think this is why I'm going back to school. However, music technology seems interesting. Lately I've had nothing but crazy ideas for interesting music controllers.
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2008-05-23 10:56 pm (UTC)
Rob, if you ever decide to move to Bloomington, Indiana *ahem*bestmusicprograminthecountry*cough*, we're starting a band.
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[User Picture]From: poodleface
2008-05-24 02:54 am (UTC)
Heh, well, let me graduate first!
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[User Picture]From: gorthx
2008-05-23 10:38 pm (UTC)
"We'll give you a complete lab of cutting-edge networking equipment (plus support staff). We want you to develop new network management tools from existing FOSS solutions, and spread the NMS love by jetting around the country doing customer demos."

(I applied last week.)

(That's not really what it said, but that's what I'm imagining.)
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2008-05-23 10:52 pm (UTC)
(I applied last week.)

Wooooooo!
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[User Picture]From: pmb
2008-05-23 11:11 pm (UTC)
"Explain how to do computer science to people who want to know."
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2008-05-23 11:27 pm (UTC)
Man, I've really got to look into changing my dream job to one that anyone might actually consider paying someone for.
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[User Picture]From: stereotype441
2008-05-24 03:48 am (UTC)
You win.
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[User Picture]From: pmb
2008-05-24 04:01 am (UTC)
I'm trying to, man. I'm trying.
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[User Picture]From: the_flea_king
2008-05-23 11:57 pm (UTC)
National Geographic correspondent and photographer.
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[User Picture]From: keystricken
2008-05-24 02:20 am (UTC)
"There are some robots. Also, we have an open tab with the coffeeshop across the street."
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From: ler
2008-05-24 02:27 am (UTC)
"Here is a big lab. And several grad students, who want nothing more than to do interesting research with you. Also, full course buyout except for those two courses that you really want to teach. Oh, and tenure. You will have to present at several conferences every year; is that a problem?"
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From: sherwooddotnu
2008-05-24 02:38 am (UTC)
"Now that we've taught you SQL and the Google maps API, we'd like you to go track down huge amounts of data about the world we live in, do cool statistical analysis, and then condense it into interesting articles that you pair with informative user-friendly online databases and/or maps. And whenever possible, we'd prefer you work from this wifi equipped park, instead of the office. Also we have all this Stumptown coffee we can't drink."

Sometimes it gets pretty close.
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2008-05-24 03:42 am (UTC)
I should introduce you to spinnerin_ftw.
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[User Picture]From: kel_e_o
2008-05-24 05:51 pm (UTC)
"Here's this building layout. Make it better-slash-more usable for the people who will be working in it. Also, here's this glass office in the middle of a really secluded park to work in. Also, here's this boy who will deliver you with all the hot tea that you can stomach. K. Thx."

Or maybe:

"Here are all of these minds. Shape them into nifty things. by teaching all of the books that you like. Get them involved. Don't worry about cursing or offending their parents. It's cool. Also, we promise that they will be completely receptive to everything that you say and will bring tons of challenging viewpoints to the table. Hot tea of you choice is also available for you and your minds 24/7."

The first one is nothing like what I'm preparing myself for. The second one is feasible.
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2008-05-24 06:41 pm (UTC)
It didn't occur to me to specify that working in a park is okay, because at my current job I can work in a park if I feel like it, as long as there's interwebs. But I don't have an awesome glass office (or any kind of office). And I don't usually make it much further than the front porch.

Also: wow! Y'all have interesting and awesome dream jobs, and I'm learning so much about y'all. You have cracked my facade of jaded cynicism. Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: jes5199
2008-05-24 09:55 pm (UTC)
Here's an endless stream of people with moderately sized problems, some of which can be solved on a computer. Spend a week on each and move on, no other restrictions.



aside: your jaded cynicism is a facade!? lucky bastard.
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2008-05-24 10:51 pm (UTC)
Well, I never think it's a facade. Not until someone shatters it.
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[User Picture]From: qousqous
2008-05-26 07:57 am (UTC)
I am pretty sure that "spend a week on each and move on" is one of the key parts of my dream life that I'm missing out on.
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