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Holy cow! A dream with a plot! - Lindsey Kuper [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Lindsey Kuper

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Holy cow! A dream with a plot! [Jun. 9th, 2007|09:05 am]
Lindsey Kuper
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So, I'm having lunch in a restaurant with my mom, and suddenly I realize that I'm not wearing pants. (Yeah, it's one of those dreams.) Also, one of my socks is missing, and one of my arm warmers is missing. All my clothes are in a pile on the floor. I pick up my stuff, tell my mom that I need to go get dressed, and scamper off to the restroom holding my clothes and purse. As I'm heading that direction, there's another woman walking ahead of me, and I'm nervous that she's going to get to the one-person restroom first and I'll have to stand around pantsless, but -- hooray! -- she actually goes into the men's room, so I head into the women's room. There's also an older Japanese man wearing a traditional robe walking behind me, but I figure he'll just have to wait, because the men's room is occupied.

I'm in the middle of getting dressed in the bathroom when I look up and realize that the Japanese man is standing there watching me. I kind of overreact: I yell, "What the fuck are you doing in here?!" and then, without waiting for an answer, spin around and roundhouse kick him in the side. He immediately crumples up into a tiny ball. I'm worried: maybe I hurt him badly! But "Are you okay?" doesn't really seem like the next thing that one says to someone after "What the fuck are you doing in here?!", so I just finish getting dressed.

But then, as soon as I'm done, he stands up, completely unfazed, and says, "Your form was good, but that little tap you gave me could have been a lot more forceful. Here, let me show you." He unfolds a huge three-panel mirror from out of nowhere, sets it up there in the bathroom, and demonstrates proper roundhouse kicking technique: "If you bring your head and shoulders lower down as you're spinning around, the centripetal force from the added weight will bring more momentum to your kick." It all makes sense, and I'm eager to try it out right there and then, but now I'm suddenly self-conscious, so I just say "Thank you", make sure I have everything, grab my purse and leave.

I walk back to the restaurant table, where my mom's waiting patiently. I must have been gone a long time. But as I'm getting back to the table, I realize that I'm still missing a sock and still missing an arm warmer. My mom raises an eyebrow at me. I say, "I don't know what happened!" She says, "You must have left them in the restroom." I say, "No, there's no chance of that. They've gotta be in my purse or something." But it's empty. I'm looking around dazedly, when the Japanese man approaches again. He hands me my sock, my arm warmer, and also a bunch of other stuff that he had apparently somehow ninja'd out of my purse, like my cell phone charger. I say "Thank you" again, and he melts away back over to his table. I look in the bottom of my purse, and there's a note from him: "You're very pretty" in English, followed by his name, in Japanese.

(with thanks to Indigo indy1725, who had to listen to me tell this whole thing as soon as I woke up this morning so I wouldn't forget it.)

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2007-06-09 05:21 pm (UTC)
I am actually going to try that next time I do a roundhouse kick.
Have you actually learned how to do roundhouse kicks, and if you have, does it mean what it means for me?
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2007-06-11 12:48 am (UTC)
I have no idea how to do a roundhouse kick.
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[User Picture]From: royhuggins
2007-06-09 06:31 pm (UTC)
Dude, whenever I try to attack someone in a dream it always comes out wussy. Like, my punches are weak or I can't pull the gun trigger all the way. Maybe I should drop my shoulders more.
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2007-06-11 12:50 am (UTC)
Yeah, in the dream, I could tell when I first kicked him that it wasn't a very strong kick. It was a really good yell, though!
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[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2007-06-11 02:32 am (UTC)
I've heard that that is because your muscles are paralyzed during sleep, and they are telling your brain that they can't move. Thus, they feel sluggish in the dream.
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[User Picture]From: royhuggins
2007-06-11 02:33 am (UTC)
I have heard that as well.
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[User Picture]From: gelishan
2007-06-09 08:54 pm (UTC)
...that is an incredibly adorable dream.
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2007-06-11 12:55 am (UTC)
I don't know; I'm a little uncomfortable with how my dream-persona reacted to the dude following me into the bathroom. I mean, first I physically attacked him, and then later I thanked him. What was I thinking? I guess it all worked out okay in the end, though.
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[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2007-06-11 02:54 am (UTC)
If I was a Jungian, I would say there was lots of obvious aspects of animus integration going on there.
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2007-06-13 06:21 am (UTC)
I know even less about Jung than I know about roundhouse kicking.
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From: (Anonymous)
2007-06-13 09:21 am (UTC)
I once had a dream where I roundhouse kicked Jung after he tried to break up a throwdown I was having with Descartes over polar coordinate systems. As luck would have it, Chuck Norris appeared wearing his signature gussetted jeans and roundhouse kicked Friedrich Nietzsche who was sneaking up on me with a giant schnitzel. Then, another fist sprang out from under Chucks beard and finished off The Nietz just in time as the schnitzel was morphing into a giant phyllac symbol with Freuds head and my mothers voice. Chuck ate the schnitzel in one bite and farted out an enormous green cloud which took the shape of a 57 Chevy. I got in the Chevy and drove to Vegas where Wayne Newton was hitchhiking just before the Strip. Wayne started singing Danke Schoen and suddenly Nietzsche crawled out of the glove compartment so I hit the brakes and roundhouse kicked him simultaneously. This caused the car to evaporate and fling us all to the penthouse of the Luxor where Chuck was machine gunning Frank Sinatra who was dressed in my mothers bathrobe. Chuck saw the Nietz and said "What doesn't kill you makes me stronger" then urinated into a can of Red Bull and handed it to Wayne. Wayne drank it and screamed and an exo-skeletal mobile suit armor mechanism formed over him. He screamed "I have a movie to make!" and his rocket boots fired and blasted off the top of the Luxor. Chuck says "I gotta get me one of those" again, in my mothers voice. chuck then hands me a contract and I see its for a loan at 23% compounded daily and I say, "Well, that's it then" then I started roundhouse kicking him like they did in the Matrix, all blurry and hyperaggro but he just laughs and vomits fucia and mauve chunks of what looks like a mixture of schnitzel and my mothers figurine collection except that all the figurines are sporting massive erections and I start laughing when the little ceramic gnomes barf up with giant John Holmes style boners.
Then he barfs up her walker and its wearing a Texas Ranger badge which also has a huge chromed erection somehow jutting from it. Chuck then pulls out a small thermonuclear device and screams a Jihadi type warble but Wayne flies back in wearing the mobile suit and roundhouse kicks him, there is an enormous flash and then...I wake up.
Anyone else ever have this dream?
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[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2007-06-13 05:43 pm (UTC)
WTF?
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[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2007-06-13 05:45 pm (UTC)
You have much to learn, young Padawan.
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From: (Anonymous)
2007-06-13 11:05 pm (UTC)
If your chops were together, Stinky, you would have written 'Jung Padawan' instead...so it is you that must learn
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[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2007-06-14 01:02 am (UTC)
I go on like a space age rocket ship. You can be a hustler, a player. But make sure live you are a dope rhyme sayer!
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2007-06-14 02:36 am (UTC)
Ten points.
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