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Actually, I think that some of those things in the fridge were pregnant... - Lindsey Kuper [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Lindsey Kuper

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Actually, I think that some of those things in the fridge were pregnant... [Nov. 14th, 2006|10:13 pm]
Lindsey Kuper
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I posted the following on our refrigerator door today:

Dear roomies,

Today (Tuesday, Nov. 14) I went through our fridge and threw away expired items. You may be interested to know what the expiration dates were, so here is a list:

  • tofu: Oct. 29
  • yogurt: Oct. 15
  • tomato sauce: Oct. 10
  • cheese: Sept. 27
  • TJ's green curry sauce: August
  • salmon cream cheese: Aug. 13
  • feta cheese: Aug. 11
  • tofu: June 6
  • eggs: May 29
  • hummus: April 4
  • eggs: March 16
  • and the winner *drumroll*: feta cheese, December '05.

If there is anything that I threw away that you were actually planning to use, please let me know and I will replace it. But seriously, guys, let's try to keep our fridge cleaner. I could have conceived a child, carried it to term, and had it be 6 weeks old during the time that some of this stuff was in our fridge.

With love,
your roomie,
Lindsey

A little too harsh?

LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: dan_o_m
2006-11-15 06:23 am (UTC)
Not too harsh! It's perfect! Hahahaha!!!!
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[User Picture]From: leikela4
2006-11-15 06:29 am (UTC)
eww... was anything unnatural growing?
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2006-11-15 07:27 am (UTC)
Oh, yeah, there was definitely mold. Some of the stuff actually looked okay, but I wasn't taking any chances.
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[User Picture]From: leikela4
2006-11-15 07:38 am (UTC)
I can't imagine the eggs... *quivers*
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2006-11-15 06:21 pm (UTC)
Well, the eggs actually looked normal, but some of the other stuff was pretty foul.
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[User Picture]From: sonetka
2006-11-15 07:13 am (UTC)
Not too harsh at all - I thought it was hilarious. I think I've got you beat on one thing, though - a few months ago I threw out a jar of mustard that was bought when Daniel was about twelve weeks old. As in, twelve weeks in utero. Shows you how often we actually used it!
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2006-11-15 07:35 am (UTC)
Heheh, I think you win. Yeah, it's probably a good rule of thumb that if a food is older than a walking member of the household, then it's too old.
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[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2006-11-15 07:36 am (UTC)
Mustard? That old?

Maybe you were just waiting for someone to say "pardon me, but might you have some green poupon?"
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[User Picture]From: sonetka
2006-11-15 07:50 am (UTC)
What had happened was that the jar had gotten shoved into a corner and forgotten; at some point I must have thought we didn't have any and got a new jar (though it's true we do go through it slowly). I was pretty surprised to find the old jar. For what it's worth, the colour looked normal on the outside, but I didn't dare to open it lest a malevolent genie or something equally nasty be released.
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[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2006-11-15 08:52 am (UTC)
I was going to go for the obvious Beatles reference, but then decided to go for something else...like

"A bottle of bad mustard...in the back of your refrigerator...with a candlestick..."
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[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2006-11-15 07:35 am (UTC)
You should have throw all that stuff in the blender, mixed it up, and then poured it on offending roommate's beds. That would have been harsh.
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2006-11-15 06:20 pm (UTC)
Oh, man. One of my friends' friends had a roommate who poured chili powder in her bed, then pretended the cat did it.

That kind of thing might not work in my case. Especially since we don't have a cat.
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[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2006-11-15 07:32 pm (UTC)
Well, I am sure you have seen the pictures of the cat with "the invisible bike" and "the invisible sandwich"...

Why not an invisible cat?
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(Deleted comment)
From: (Anonymous)
2006-11-15 07:39 pm (UTC)
This is one of the reasons that I will never again have roomates. Of course, part of that is because many of the things in my fridge are equally aged... but you know - still good for you, right?

- Derksen (http://www.chthonian.org/blog)
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[User Picture]From: cerulicante
2006-11-15 10:32 pm (UTC)
Never again will I live with someone that isn't related to me, married to me or about to be married to me.

Roommates are a constant source of irritation and this is a prime example.




However, mold is fun to study!
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[User Picture]From: lindseykuper
2006-11-16 09:10 am (UTC)
Actually, I get along fine with my roommates. They were laughing about the note right along with me.
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[User Picture]From: leadsynth
2006-11-17 02:57 pm (UTC)
Damn. All your food is so . . . natural.

Then again, I guess it's unlikely that a can of Red Bull is going to go bad. Carry on.
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[User Picture]From: glowing_fish
2006-11-26 10:53 am (UTC)
If it ferments, it becomes "Sparks Caffeinated Malt Liquor"--the beverage that turns everyone into me, and turns me into something else entirely.
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